Letter 1: Beginnings?

 Dear Diary,

It has been a month since classes started (exactly a month - 6 Aug to 6 Sep). What a roller-coaster. I keep waiting for myself to become this perfect version of myself that wakes up early and does pre-reads and finds time to have hobbies. Like the person I was in school. Unfortunately, while the need for achievement has arisen, the discipline required to deliver has not. 

I can't seem to relate to anyone yet. I feel like I'm in the middle of two worlds - Red Bricks and the Land of Towering Clocks. A lot of time is spent on replying to messages (or escaping them) on WhatsApp. The remaining time is spent scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. 

What a month, though. I spent an entire day crying because I wasn't able to upload my answers to a test (with 20% weightage! Imagine!). Every now and then, in the middle of focus and determination - the question arises - does this even matter? Why do you need to do well academically? Like most things, I am escaping from the answers too. 

I think I'll stop writing, for now. I come up with new ways to waste time whenever I have multiple things to do. Hopefully, this one sticks (I've written this exact line on like, three different websites, don't be too hopeful.)

Till then,

Ella

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Letter 3: Uncanny Similarities

 I did not expect the Land of Towering Clocks and the Land of Red Bricks to be similar at all. I expected company similar to the kind I'd found under the shades of Sky. Unfortunately, I suppose finding the best people takes time. * laughs in capitalism * I wrote 6 mid-term exams in 3 days, which doesn't seem like a lot, but the feeling of permanent exhaustion bore resemblance to another fest in a village far away. I can't seem to catch a break. I thought I could chill today, maybe, given that midsems just ended. Unfortunately, couldn't find more than a few hours free. I can't decide if I picked too many clubs or if I'm just awful at time management.  I miss being creative and having days to fill. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy. But this busy-ness, it isn't natural. It isn't fun. It's the busy-ness of gruntwork and tediousness. Maybe life would be greener without grass, who knows? Time will tell.  PS. My balance sheets balanced! I don't...
Read more

Letter 2: Harvard Essays Make Me Cry

Don't mind me, I'm just looking up Harvard entrance essays for inspiration and they're making my cry. If all goes well, I'll put up what I wrote after reading some of those essays. An excerpt: 'And that is what I remind myself - we are here to learn, and by extension, to teach, to help, to serve, and to live.' 
Read more